Blue-Eyes White Dragon card before his run because it’s always time to duel For Yu-Gi-Oh ... in 9.92 seconds to win the opening round of the U.S. Olympic track and field trials.

I’ve never been in a duel, of course. We don’t allow duels anymore. They’re barbaric, archaic. We can just shoot people on the spot now, over whatever slight or insult or dust-up has us riled.