I have attached a photo of two dresses ... mother of the groom I am told not to wear white or off-white, and not to wear the color of the mother of the bride which is, I think, kind of a soft ...

try purple, silver or cranberry, not bright fuchsia. Third: Which mom chooses a dress first? The order is still mother of the bride, then mother of the groom, then any other moms. (Speaking as a ...