How come my husband can only wink with one eye? asks a reader. Blinking bathes our eyes in fluid, washing away dust and keeping them moist. Winking is social, underlining shared opinions, ...

High on emoticon… Smiley faces have taken over our lives (Picture: File) ‘Hi there! Happy face. Great to see you again. Wink. Oh, you can’t meet me later?

In her case, though, it made for an instant hit on YouTube the next day, when there appeared a montage of the governor’s mischievous left eye set to a Neal McCoy country-western carol, “Wink ...

This time, a wink face greatly enhanced the chances that a line would be interpreted as sarcastic, while an ellipsis moved the needle a little bit, and a full-stop oozed sincerity.

‘Hi there! Happy face. Great to see you again. Wink. Oh, you can’t meet me later? Frown.’ Surely only a planet full of absolute cretins would communicate this way with one another? Well then ...